Inescapable

Your words have sunk into my skin. I never knew how porous my cells were until now. You’re every action penetrates inside. Like a tissue submerged into water, you made me wet, soggy, weak. Every day with you, I dove in deeper. Into an everlasting ocean, I swam. With or without oxygen. Even when I was breathless, I ran after you. Dependent, reliant, addicted. I co-habited with you in my head. I made us a palace of memories to live in together. But you didn’t even make it to the housewarming. Like a wretched husband you always had an excuse. You visited sometimes though, you would come by, we would laugh and eat. My scornful expression would fade away and you would know that it was time to leave. You knew exactly how long you had to stay to string me along. I was blind to it. Everyone told me you changed family each year, yet I kept on thinking we would last, I'd be the one. We were best friends, Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99, Damon and Elena from TVD. I thought we'd be the amazing movie I wanted to live in. But that didn’t happen.

You did intertwine us together. We did live in our own space, a place that you gave us. A small room, but it was something. Now that I think about it, I was just as happy living in it as in the palace. For that room I'll give you credit. Only for that too you had a key out the room and I didn’t. I stayed there alone, waiting.

The same sorrow tale doesn’t change. I could keep going on and on, in rounds saying the same thing but it all comes down to this-

You showed me your hand, gave it to me to hold it. But every time you would shake it till I lost grasp. Till I could only clench to your little finger.

You made me your hostage and left me as a victim trapping me into my own brain. Now I write about you, I kill you again and again in my stories and poems. But dying in literature isn't enough to wipe you away.

You’re something I just can't escape.